I THANK GOD FOR MY 30 YEARS!!!!

So, a week ago today, I turned TRIUMPHANT 30. I have been busy celebrating that I am just now getting around to blogging. Over the weekend, I was asked how does it feel to be 30. My response: GREAT!!!! It was then pointed out to me that I had only been 30 for a few days…lol. I still feel great. I know friends who turned 30 and were not so excited. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Come closer..ok that’s far enough (personal space and all): I only just started to enjoy life about 4 years ago. Now that isn’t to say that everything has just been roses and sunshine, but I saw the possibility of new days and appreciated life more. Up until then, I really thought my life was one big joke and I WAS NOT laughing. I was tired and at time really thought I would just give up. That’s also not to say that the entire time before that was just awful, but to me the struggle was almost crippling.

So, for me, turning 30 gave me the most amazing feeling. I was like a kid on Christmas. I had no big plans for the day of my birthday, but waking up was wonderful. I also had last year starting planning this fabulous 30th bash, but because of some things, I had to cancel. I was disappointed, but knew I would still celebrate my birthday. I love birthdays. As a child, mine was often forgotten. So when I got older, I made sure to celebrate each one.

A friend recently posed the question: What’s your favorite childhood memory? For me it was my 13th or 14th birthday or just the part I remember. I love balloons and for some reason always have. I mentioned this to my BFF and the day of my birthday when I got to school, she had tied balloons to my locker. I don’t know if she remembers this or not, but I’ll never forget. It was completely unexpected. I am grateful to say that some 16/17 years later, she is still my BFF. And this year she surprised me again. I love you Shawn.

I love music and so often find that some songs seem like they were written just for little ole me. When I look back over my life, one song pretty much sums me up: Smokie Norful’s “Dear God.” The first time I heard that song, it brought me to tears. I look back over my life and see God’s amazing plan, purpose, and existence in my life. It wasn’t so evident years ago, but the older I get the clearer I see. I AM SO LOVING MY LIFE and I THANK GOD FOR MY LIFE because truly I’VE HAD SO MANY UPS THAT THEY FAR OUT WEIGH MY DOWNS.

God has put and is continuing to put some great people in my life, but I think more importantly He is taking some people out. I have been mentally and emotionally hurt by some people who I thought was supposed to protect me, but I still thank God for those moments. They taught me that the world can’t break me because God molded me. Now days, I am always excited about something, whether I know what it is or not. I just have this really GREAT feeling. I am learning to stop trying to please everyone at the expense of having nothing left for myself. I’m still learning.

I am not where I thought I would be but know for certain that I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be. I am on the MOST AMAZING ride of my life. Thanks to all of those who are taking this trip with me. I don’t think you will ever truly know what pieces of my life you have mended and I don’t have the words to tell you how grateful I am for your constant love, support, and friendships.

So until next time LIVE freely, LOVE hard, LAUGH loudly, and CRY a little.

Smokie Norful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnWbYqSJ3_w

Handing out pink slips

I got a text from a friend of mine that said she owed me a drink and when was I available. First off, let me say that if I call you friend then that’s exactly what you are and there is no in between and secondly, whether she said she owed me a drink or not, catching up with her is always great. She is a wife, mother of 5, and road runner; so, I asked her when was she available. We decided to meet up at 6 and four hours later the conversation was still going strong and I would have until they put us out EXCEPT for the fact I had an exam that was due by 11:59. Which brings me to the point of this entry: that messy, no good enemy called procrastination.

I often joke that I am the QUEEN of Procrastination, but after the last 2-3 months, I think that may be more accurate than I like. I have deadlines and because I have the time, I put it off and usually until the LAST possible second, literally. So, not a good look. I am realizing how much of life I am missing because of procrastination. There have been a lot of events, functions, conversations, etc. that I have missed out on because I waited to do something that needed to be done and could have already been done. That was even more evident last night. Four hours is just not enough time to spend catching up with a love one.

I can pretty much pin point the reasons why I do much of what I do or act the way I do, but with procrastination, I’m just stumped. I have no clue when, where, how, or why. The fact is I HATE the feeling I have waiting to the last minute. I’m anxious and nervous and feel very pressured and not at ease. I also think that is why I don’t sleep well. My mind is constantly racing and usually deals with the fact that there is something I need to do or remembering that is due.

Now, that I recognize there really is a problem, I can work to correct, fix or alter it. Me, myself and I discussed things over and have come to a unanimous decision:

Dear Procrastination,

This will serve as your official notice that you are being terminated due to poor work performance and your unwillingness to be a team player. You hinder much of what could be great but for laziness. There is no need to reapply and you may not use us as a reference. This termination is effective immediately.

Management

I know this won’t be nearly as easy as tossing out last night’s left overs, but it is a start. So, until next time live, love, laugh and cry.